Please pray for me - not strong enough to do this anymore

As I sit here in tears, I write this from my heart looking for prayers and help to find a way to remain strong and positive, because right now I feel disheartened and defeated.

I've been trying to write this for over an hour, yet everytime I try, the tears come faster and it feels like my heart is breaking.

I feel like my prayers have fallen on deaf ears. I know that isn't the case.....but I'm not feeling strong enough to pull myself up off the ground.

January 2008 marks 7 years of my husband and I trying to get pregnant. I had a pregnancy test done this morning. I tried not to get my hopes us but there was a small part of me that thought that I could be. I got the result back this afternoon......I'm not pregnant. So I move forward to yet another month but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep doing this.

I'm with my 3rd Dr. I recently found out that my previous Dr was treating me incorrectly. The finanicial aspect is one thing, but the emotional cost was too much. I have had so many tests done and even surgery to try and find the cause but there is no answer. I've been diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility". How do you treat that when you don't know what the route cause is.

So, I am on round two of meds. 10 pills a day. TEN!!!! I start seeing the doctor again every 3 days for blood work and ultrasounds. Again, the financial aspect is high, but so are my emotions.

I feel like I am being punished for actions of my past. I feel like my prayers fall on deaf ears. I'm having a hard time coping with this. I thought that I would be stronger this time around as I love my new Doctor and his clinic but my heart hurts with yet another failure.

This turned out to be longer and more personal than I thought and I apologize for that. I'm just looking for some prayers to help get me back up on my feet and back to feeling like a woman, and not a complete failure....

Thanks for reading this.

Blessed be, Lisa

Wow, that is a tough burden to bear. But I'm hoping this does bring some light, if you read into Job and the trials that he had to face and how he pulled through. This may just be one of those trials to see how you'll face it, and I do have faith that you will keep pursuing God and keep going and a miracle will happen. Along with that, I will add this to my prayer list and I will be expecting an updated message to this to tell us all that you are pregnant!

Thank you so much for those very kind words. I was having a poor me moment when I wrote my post. I try not to do that - write when I'm upset - but I knew that I could come here and get the support I needed. So thank you very much for your kindness and your prayers. Hopefully one day in the very near future I'll be posting a much happier post about this journey I am on.

Blessed be, Lisa

Lisa, i can't say i understand what you must be feeling, but just remember Lisa, God is right by your side holding your hand, and as long as you know that...you ARE strong enough .

God Bless you Lisa, i will definitely be praying for you with all my mite!!

Hearing your situation is heart-wrenching. I couldn't begin to completely understand your situation. My wife went through a couple of miscarriages and that was really tough for her, but i know that doesn't compare.
All i can say is pray, pray, pray. Pray for understanding. Pray for pregnancy. Pray for a peace about what you should do. Sometimes we have to step back and try to take a different perspective of our life and how we should approach it. There is always a reason and a purpose for everything. Everything happens according to God's will. I will pray for you and your husband.

Justin,

Thank you for your kind words.

I'm sorry to hear about the loses you and your wife went through. I'm sure that was extremely difficult and very heartbreaking for both of you.

Re-reading my post, makes me realize just how down this journey makes me. I've been doing a lot of praying and am finding that my heart doesn't feel so heavy right now. I'm able to put things back into perspective. I know my prayers do not fall on deaf ears and I know that God is not punishing me. He will let this happen when it is the right time, His time.

I am still undergoing treatment - I've been moved up to 13 pills a day and my body seems to be doing what it should be doing; so God willing, and with tons of prayers.......well, only He knows what will happen.

Thank you for the prayers, well wishes and kind words. It means a lot.

Blessed be,

Lisa